Mack plopped herself down on my bed. Lying on her stomach, she stretched out the width of it, crossed her arms in front of her, and rested her head on her crossed arms.
“Mom, my phone is dying. Can I get some money from my account. Dad says that when we are with him this weekend we might be able to run to WalMart and get one of those cheapie phones.”
I continued sweeping my bathroom floor. The goal was to sweep and mop the master bathroom and then move on to vacuuming the stairs. “I don’t know, Mack, maybe we can get to the bank later this afternoon.”
Mack nodded and asked an unrelated question. And then another. I finished my sweeping, but left the mop leaning against the wall. My daughter was in the mood to talk. Our conversation lasted for two hours. We covered almost every topic imaginable. We talked about our upcoming family vacation, the consequences of dishonesty, laundry, the purpose of child support payments, what some of her friends are doing this summer, some doctrinal points from our religion, and much more. At one point Mack got emotional about some information I gave her that touched her heart. She made a commitment to try one of my suggestions. And the mop didn’t move from the wall.
Dale Carnegie in his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, tells the story of a short conversation between a mother and her son:
Robert: “Mom, I know that you love me very much.”
Mrs. Esposito: “Of course I love you very much. Did you doubt it?”
Robert: “No, but I really know you love me because whenever I want to talk to you about something you stop whatever you are doing and listen to me.” (pg. 83)
Listening and talking to my daughter delayed my morning routine by two hours. Did Mack feel more loved because I stopped what I was doing and listened to her? I don’t know, that never came up in the conversation, but I do know that it was a conversation that I wouldn’t have missed for the world!
Kweenmama's Kastle 
July 27, 2008 at 3:37 pm
This is such a great lesson for young parents. It is so important to listen to your kids. All other things can and do wait. I’ve got to hand it to you. There aren’t many 15 year old girls who would want to sit and talk for that long with their moms. You have something very special and seem to be doing all the right things.
July 27, 2008 at 7:18 pm
I have to remind myself of this important point every single time I hear a chorus of “Mom”s. (I have four kids under the age of nine. I hear it a LOT.)
It is my hope that by the time they are 15, we will be able to have a conversation similar to the one you had.
July 28, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I am working on this. There is always something to be done and so little time in which to do it all in. I even multi-task! But I realize in the end my family is what matters most–not have many loads of laundry I have folded.
July 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm
That you saw the need, took the time to connect with your daughter, is what makes you a great parent. She’ll never forget that chat, I imagine.
I need to do this more often. If I can only convince my son to get off the phone . . .
Young love . . . ain’t it grand?!
July 28, 2008 at 6:53 pm
You’re such a nice mom…:-)
July 29, 2008 at 12:56 pm
guilt…guilt…guilt…I need to print this one and staple it to my forehead. 😦
July 29, 2008 at 4:27 pm
this really is a fantastic reminder…thanks. =]
July 29, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Awesome post, thank you for sharing!! The chores will always be there, the opportunity for a two hour conversation with our kids won’t.
July 30, 2008 at 2:15 am
I love those times when I can really connect to my kids, although I admit that there have been times when opportunity slipped through my hands, because I felt like I was “too busy”. Shame!