My ex-husband informed the kids last week, that in order for him to keep his job, he has to move out of state in January.  The kids are still processing the information and say that they aren’t sure how they feel about the news.

It is unfortunate that the ex allowed opportunities to spend quality time with his kids slip away.  There were many times that he didn’t pick the kids up on his night to have them, or would wait until Saturday afternoon to pick them up on “his” weekends instead of picking them up on Friday night.  The unspoken message to the kids was that there were other things more important to Dad than his kids.  And the result was that the kids chose not to go to Dad’s house many times.  When I would ask them why they didn’t want to go, the usual answer was, “Why should we?  He doesn’t do anything with us when we’re there.  Most of the time he’s not even around when we are there.”

And now he’s moving away from them.  This past weekend Yawlin was at his dad’s house and he said that it was fun because his dad played games with him.  Maybe the upcoming move is affecting the father and causing him to think?  How sad that it took a forced move to make him value time with his kids.

And perhaps there is a lesson in this for all of us.  When we get so busy that we allow that “busyness” to rob us of time spent with our family, and we rationalize it away by thinking that we will make it up to our family “tomorrow” or “next time,” the danger is that we will continue to think that there will always be a next time.  But sometimes life throws a curve ball, and the “next time” never comes.

Enjoy them while you’ve got them.

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