It was so out of the blue…
Last night at around 8:15 I left the house to go pick my kids up from their father’s place. He lives about ten minutes away, just off of the same busy street that we do. It was a typical Sunday evening, not much traffic, a few clouds in the sky, quiet. As I drove I listened to a radio station that always plays religious music on Sundays. The station went to commercial and I reached to turn the volume up because I wanted to hear what the commercial was about, although now I cannot even remember what commercial it was. As I reached for the dial it hit.
I experienced a sudden tightness in my chest and a heaviness in my head. My throat felt like it constricted and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air as the road swam before my eyes and then my vision tunneled and I could not see much. I knew I was losing consciousness. I gripped the steering wheel and applied the brakes to slow the car, hoping there was no one behind me, and said aloud, “Heavenly Father help me, please help me.”
My vision cleared and the tightness left my chest. I took deep, gulping breaths and looked around for a place to pull over. A wave of dizziness hit and my breathing became labored again. My vision swam, but not as bad as the first time. There was a tingling in my fingertips. Again I prayed, “Heavenly Father, please help me. My kids need me. Please help me to get to my kids.” I was aware that the car was still moving forward, but I no longer knew where I was. “Please help me,” I prayed over and over, “My kids need me.” I fought to stay conscious.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality only about ten seconds, I saw the turn-off to my ex’s street and made the turn. Still taking deep breaths and shaking I remember thinking, I might have to have Mike call 911. I pulled into the driveway and called Huh’s phone. Taking a deep breath I made my voice sound as normal as possible, “I’m here.”
“Okay, we’ll be right out.”
My breathing slowed, and the dizziness left me. I got out of the car and walked to the passenger side, as I slid into the passenger seat I said a silent prayer, “Heavenly Father, thank you for helping me to get here.”
Mack came out of the house carrying her bag of clothes. When she saw me in the passenger seat she got a puzzled look on her face. “Why are you sitting there?” she asked as she loaded her stuff into the car. “Are you okay?”
“Do you have your license with you?” I asked.
“Yup.”
“Good. Do you want to drive?”
“Sure.” Mack looked at me closely. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” I just shook my head. I had been trying to appear normal, somehow my daughter was seeing right through me. I pulled the sun visor down to look at myself in the mirror. Sure enough, I was pale.
“You’re shaking,” said Mack. I simply nodded.
After all of the kids were in the car and Mack was driving us home I told the kids what had happened. They were quiet. To lighten the mood I asked them about their weekend. Huh had attended the Senior dinner dance for her high school and Yawlin had gone to a birthday party, so I asked them both about those events. Mack finally said, “Mom, you are only 41.”
How many times have my kids told me that I’m old and teased me about my age? And now the perspective is that I am only 41.
When we got home there were neighbors standing on our front porch visiting with Hub and Squid. They’d dropped by to congratulate Squid on his recent call to serve a mission for our church in Uruguay. My kids carried their stuff into the house and I stopped on the porch to visit with the neighbors. After the neighbors left I told Hub what had happened on the way to get my kids. He got a concerned look on his face and asked, “Are you okay? Do we need to go to a doctor?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Other than a slight headache, I feel fine.”
Later on, as I loaded dishes into the dish washer, Hub again asked me if I was okay. I told him that I was and that all I had was a slight headache. We finished our evening routine and everyone went to bed. That is when my mind started to race. What if I had blacked out? What if there had been more traffic? What if I had been on the freeway? What if it happens again?
This morning I got up at my usual time and made poppy seed muffins for breakfast (box mix). My headache is gone and I feel fine. Normal. Alive.
As I was crossing kids at my morning crossing a lady walked by with her dog on a leash. She smiled at me and asked, “Doesn’t it smell heavenly out here?” It did. A mixture of lilacs and Russian Olive tree did make my little street corner smell nice. I took a few deep breaths. It was nice to do so with ease. I’m not taking that for granted.
The incident in the car happened so suddenly, so out of the blue. There were no warning signs. It just hit. Quickly. It’s a little scary to think about. Things can change in our lives in the blink of an eye. I don’t think I am going to be taking things for granted for awhile. I am noticing the little things. I truly am blessed.
And I am so grateful for help from above.
June 1, 2009 at 3:46 pm
First of all, I’m so glad your okay. Really. I was getting scared reading that and I’m also so glad there where no “what ifs” here. Are you sure you don’t want to be checked out. I know I’m not the best to give advice since I never go either but…you know, “what if” it was a sign of some kind? My hands are shaking after reading this. I’m so glad you feel better today and nothing bad happened.
June 1, 2009 at 7:17 pm
First, I’m glad you’re ok. Secondly, I think you should call your Dr. Your kids need you and you should get it checked out. You shouldn’t risk having it happen again where you might not be so blessed.
June 1, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I too am very glad that you are OK. I’ve had the experience of the world slipping away like that except luckily I was at home and was able to find a bed to kind of fall onto. I hope that you go get checked out at a doctors (this coming from the chick who hates going to the doctors). Life is so beautiful and wonderful that it’s never too much trouble just to see what could have caused it. What if it does happen again…right? Take care of yourself!
June 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Another vote that you need to make an appointment with your doctor, ASAP. I’m glad you are okay and I know you feel fine now, but something happened that shouldn’t have – go have it checked out.
June 2, 2009 at 5:59 pm
That was such a scary story! I was panicking for you! I’m glad you’re okay, and I hope there’s not a next time, but I echo the others’ advice and think you need to get checked out, just in case.
Congratulations to Squid on his call to Uruguay!
June 3, 2009 at 3:46 am
OK, my chest felt tight reading this post. I am so glad you were able to make it safely but I too think you should take this warning seriously…think of it as God’s way of letting you know that you should go see a doctor…you know, those people HE gave a gift of being able to help people! I would think that if it happened once, the odds are it will happen again. For your awesome family, make it a point to call your doctor!!
June 3, 2009 at 5:22 am
I too, am glad you are okay, but I do concur with these other ladies that it is a good idea to go to the doc and get yourself checked out.
June 3, 2009 at 5:48 am
I’m so glad you are okay! I can’t help but agree with the others! Go get checked out by the dr.. That could have been your warning sign!
June 3, 2009 at 2:36 pm
That’s scary! One more comment from blogger world to say “Get it checked out!” 🙂
June 5, 2009 at 12:22 am
Sounds like all great news!
Spilling food in the oven is an old husband trick that dates back almost as far as mixing reds with the white clothes on wash day. If you mess it up bad enough you will be forbiden to “help.”
Graduation is such an important milestone.
Sounds like good family bonding time is just over the horizon!
June 5, 2009 at 6:17 pm
That is too scary! And to have it happen while driving — the worst possible place! I hope everything is okay. Congrats on the mission call!
June 5, 2009 at 10:56 pm
I can totally relate to how things can change in an instant…glad you are okay.
June 7, 2009 at 2:41 am
I hope you find out good news from the doctor. That was very scary–even more for you and your family. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
June 15, 2009 at 9:57 am
[…] We made it all the way to Oregon and through the entire week without me having any TIAs (see my previous posts). And then about two hours into the return trip one hit. It wasn’t as big as the […]
June 18, 2009 at 3:03 am
I am glad you are ok! How scary!
July 10, 2009 at 4:20 am
Wow, Praise God for answering your prayers and getting you there safely! I can’t imagine how scary that was for you and your whole family!
I’m praying for your health now, that God will lay His healing hand on your body, and that He will provide the peace and comfort that only He can during this time for you and your family!