I will be going to my daughter’s softball tournament this morning.  Depending on wins and losses, she may still be playing at the same time another daughter will be having her dance recital.  Of course, both daughters want me present at their event.  Huh knows I will have to leave her at the ball tournament to attend Hoob’s recital if her team keeps winning.  She understands.  Their father (the ex) can’t, won’t, doesn’t attend these things.  How do I split myself between these events?  This weekend is okay.  Like I said, Huh understands that I won’t be able to stay for the entire tournament if her team keeps winning.  But, there are other tournaments this summer (Huh and I will be in Colorado for a tournament next weekend).  How do I make myself available for all of the kids?  How do I get over the guilt I feel whenever I attend a ball tournament and leave the other kids at home?  When they were younger I brought all of the kids with me.  Now that they are older and are involved with their own activities they have no interest in attending ball tournaments that last all…day…long.

I mentioned my guilt to Huh last night as we were driving home from the ball tournament at 11:00 p.m.  She jokingly said, “You need to be with me cuz I’m the oldest and have the least amount of time left to be at home.”  Sigh.  How do I do it all?  I sometimes refer to my other kids as orphans on these weekends we have tournaments because they don’t have Mom around.  Hub is there with them, of course.  But they don’t have Mom.  My eight year old is the one I worry about the most.  When he’s older and looks back on his childhood is he going to think Mom was never home on the weekends?

All of the other kids except Huh will be attending the dance recital since it is a twice-a-year event and I believe that all family members that can should show support.  I also require each of Huh’s siblings to attend at least one ball game during the season.  It gets really crazy When Shroom starts football and Yawlin starts soccer.  How, how, how do I do it all?

This is a rambling, random post, I know.  But, I would appreciate any advice anyone could give.  And thanks.

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