Sometimes a truth can be discovered in hearing something wrong.  Last week in a sunday school class the instructor was talking about focusing on the positive traits in our spouse, not on the faults we think we see.  Because I was tired from being up late the night before, I wasn’t focusing as I should have been.  Every time he said, “Don’t focus on the faults,” I thought he was saying, “Don’t focus on the false.”  Both words sound the same when spoken.  The instructor said the phrase several times, and each time I heard it wrong.  Finally, I understood what he was saying and nodded in agreement.  We shouldn’t focus on the perceived faults of those around us.

Later, as I reflected on the experience, I realized that I had learned an additional truth.  When we fall into the trap of focusing on what we consider to be faults in our spouse or children, those faults can become magnified in our mind, thus becoming false.  We no longer see what is true and good about those we love if what we are seeing is false.  Focusing on negative thoughts in any relationship can create unjustified reasons for pulling away. 

Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said, “If we will look for the virtues in one another and not the vices, there will be much more of happiness in the homes…There will be far less of divorce, much less of infidelity, much less of anger and rancor and quarreling.  There will be more of forgiveness, more of love, more of peace, more of happiness.  This is as the Lord would have it.”

I am grateful for an accidental truth learned.  Don’t focus on the faults.  And don’t focus on the false.

         

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